Some days I sit, starin' out the window
Watchin' this world pass me by
Sometimes I think there's nothin' to live for
I almost break down and cry
Sometimes I think I'm crazy
I'm crazy, oh so crazy
Why am I here, am I just wasting my time?
People make jokes, 'cause they don't understand me
They just don't see my real side
I act like shit don't phase me
Inside it drives me crazy
My insecurities could eat me aliveHailie's Song — Eminem
Thursday, July 30, 2009
growing colder the older we grow
Sunday, July 26, 2009
the stars in the sky- they cried
Life is getting relatively boring I have nothing much to update on.
On Friday, CCA was rather weird. It was quite scary actually, when there are so little people around. The air-con was so cold, it felt chilly. After CCA went to eat dinner with Jun Weng. Introduced him to Jia Xiang Mian at Vivo! Hahaha he said it was nice ^^ I'm an ardent supporter of that food. Haha. Already introduced it to lots of people. Like Weiling (who loves it like mad now), Richie, Rachel, and so on.
Last night went to watch Harry Potter with my family.
You could say that this Harry Potter was much nicer than the rest, to me anyway. Most probably 'cause this movie had a much stronger human element portrayed than in the other movies. And I think after watching this movie, I am going to start reading Harry Potter. Finally.
Anyway it was so sweet when there was this love thing going on between Ron and Hermione, though I think Hermione seems to be more suitable with Harry, but since Harry is rather short, I guess Ron is fine. Haha. I was practically crying when Dumbledore died- although I don't really have any idea who is he, except that he was a good man. And it's a pity when good old professors die, killed in the hands of bad people.
On a random note, Amy MacDonald sings really well. And she's naturally pretty. Beautiful. And her songs make lots of sense, like Eminem's and Lenka's. Richie recommended her songs.
How I am going to end up in the future, I really have no idea. Teachers ask, friends ask. They ask about my ambition. I search around my brain for an answer- but I disappoint myself, again, realizing I can't answer the question. I'm 15 and I still have no ambition. Is that wrong? Is that bad?
I want to make a choice for myself. I do not want to end up like the clones you see on the streets today. Different kind of clones, that is. Teenagers looking all alike, girls with their hair rebonded, speaking the twit language, thinking of looking better everyday, maybe plastic surgery next time? And the boys with their pants down their butt crack, impressing the girls, showing off in front of their guy friends, and screwing up their lives.
As for adults, they come and go, rushing everywhere, seldom slowing down to appreciate life, people around them. Am I wrong or is there actually a choice about this? Or, probably, was there a choice? I think there used to be a choice. But the hopes of advancing, of progressing, of striving to be the best of the bests has killed all of human's nature. People are too smart, too fast for their own good. Where had the all the life gone?
It's all the same- you are created, and then your parents send you to tuitions even before you can learn to talk. Then they suck up to one of the good primary schools to make sure you get in. Assessment books appear more regularly, and as they stack up, your misery stacks up too. Just that you don't realize it, because you have been doing them all the time. You are used to it. Then one day when you are old enough to find out more about the world, you discover that you were deprived of your childhood. Why, you ask your parents. And they tell you, they claim that it's all for your own good. They say it in a thousand different ways. And they think it's right, because they think that they are caring for you, looking out for you.
Perhaps in some ways this might be true, but robbing you of memories you were supposed to have, but didn't get in the end, would not have done you any good.
What is wrong with everybody?! Doesn't anyone else sense that the more this happens, the faster human beings are going to disappear? They study so hard, they end up studying, working their whole life. All they get out of it? More greenhouse gases in the atmosphere, no joy. Then when they are old, they look back and realized they didn't live their life.
Dammit, I don't know. I don't know how to feel about this. I don't know where I'm gonna go.
This Is The Life - Amy MacDonald
Oh the wind whistles down
The cold dark street tonight
And the people they were dancing to the music vibe
And the boys chase the girls with the curls in their hair
While the shy tormented youth sit way over there
And the songs they get louder
Each one better than before
And you're singing the songs
Thinking this is the life
And you wake up in the morning and your head feels twice the size
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?
And you're singing the songs
Thinking this is the life
And you wake up in the morning and your head feels twice the size
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?
So you're heading down the road in your taxi for four
And you're waiting outside Jimmy's front door
But nobody's in and nobody's home 'til four
So you're sitting there with nothing to do
Talking about Robert Riger and his motley crew
And where you're gonna go and where you're gonna sleep tonight
And you're singing the songs
Thinking this is the life
And you wake up in the morning and your head feels twice the size
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?
And you're singing the songs
Thinking this is the life
And you wake up in the morning and your head feels twice the size
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?
And you're singing the songs
Thinking this is the life
And you wake up in the morning and your head feels twice the size
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?
And you're singing the songs
Thinking this is the life
And you wake up in the morning and your head feels twice the size
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?
And you're singing the songs
Thinking this is the life
And you wake up in the morning and your head feels twice the size
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?
And you're singing the songs
Thinking this is the life
And you wake up in the morning and your head feels twice the size
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?
On Friday, CCA was rather weird. It was quite scary actually, when there are so little people around. The air-con was so cold, it felt chilly. After CCA went to eat dinner with Jun Weng. Introduced him to Jia Xiang Mian at Vivo! Hahaha he said it was nice ^^ I'm an ardent supporter of that food. Haha. Already introduced it to lots of people. Like Weiling (who loves it like mad now), Richie, Rachel, and so on.
Last night went to watch Harry Potter with my family.
You could say that this Harry Potter was much nicer than the rest, to me anyway. Most probably 'cause this movie had a much stronger human element portrayed than in the other movies. And I think after watching this movie, I am going to start reading Harry Potter. Finally.
Anyway it was so sweet when there was this love thing going on between Ron and Hermione, though I think Hermione seems to be more suitable with Harry, but since Harry is rather short, I guess Ron is fine. Haha. I was practically crying when Dumbledore died- although I don't really have any idea who is he, except that he was a good man. And it's a pity when good old professors die, killed in the hands of bad people.
On a random note, Amy MacDonald sings really well. And she's naturally pretty. Beautiful. And her songs make lots of sense, like Eminem's and Lenka's. Richie recommended her songs.
And you're singing the songs
Thinking this is the life
And you wake up in the morning and your head feels twice the size
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?
How I am going to end up in the future, I really have no idea. Teachers ask, friends ask. They ask about my ambition. I search around my brain for an answer- but I disappoint myself, again, realizing I can't answer the question. I'm 15 and I still have no ambition. Is that wrong? Is that bad?
I want to make a choice for myself. I do not want to end up like the clones you see on the streets today. Different kind of clones, that is. Teenagers looking all alike, girls with their hair rebonded, speaking the twit language, thinking of looking better everyday, maybe plastic surgery next time? And the boys with their pants down their butt crack, impressing the girls, showing off in front of their guy friends, and screwing up their lives.
As for adults, they come and go, rushing everywhere, seldom slowing down to appreciate life, people around them. Am I wrong or is there actually a choice about this? Or, probably, was there a choice? I think there used to be a choice. But the hopes of advancing, of progressing, of striving to be the best of the bests has killed all of human's nature. People are too smart, too fast for their own good. Where had the all the life gone?
It's all the same- you are created, and then your parents send you to tuitions even before you can learn to talk. Then they suck up to one of the good primary schools to make sure you get in. Assessment books appear more regularly, and as they stack up, your misery stacks up too. Just that you don't realize it, because you have been doing them all the time. You are used to it. Then one day when you are old enough to find out more about the world, you discover that you were deprived of your childhood. Why, you ask your parents. And they tell you, they claim that it's all for your own good. They say it in a thousand different ways. And they think it's right, because they think that they are caring for you, looking out for you.
Perhaps in some ways this might be true, but robbing you of memories you were supposed to have, but didn't get in the end, would not have done you any good.
What is wrong with everybody?! Doesn't anyone else sense that the more this happens, the faster human beings are going to disappear? They study so hard, they end up studying, working their whole life. All they get out of it? More greenhouse gases in the atmosphere, no joy. Then when they are old, they look back and realized they didn't live their life.
Dammit, I don't know. I don't know how to feel about this. I don't know where I'm gonna go.
This Is The Life - Amy MacDonald
Oh the wind whistles down
The cold dark street tonight
And the people they were dancing to the music vibe
And the boys chase the girls with the curls in their hair
While the shy tormented youth sit way over there
And the songs they get louder
Each one better than before
And you're singing the songs
Thinking this is the life
And you wake up in the morning and your head feels twice the size
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?
And you're singing the songs
Thinking this is the life
And you wake up in the morning and your head feels twice the size
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?
So you're heading down the road in your taxi for four
And you're waiting outside Jimmy's front door
But nobody's in and nobody's home 'til four
So you're sitting there with nothing to do
Talking about Robert Riger and his motley crew
And where you're gonna go and where you're gonna sleep tonight
And you're singing the songs
Thinking this is the life
And you wake up in the morning and your head feels twice the size
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?
And you're singing the songs
Thinking this is the life
And you wake up in the morning and your head feels twice the size
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?
And you're singing the songs
Thinking this is the life
And you wake up in the morning and your head feels twice the size
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?
And you're singing the songs
Thinking this is the life
And you wake up in the morning and your head feels twice the size
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?
And you're singing the songs
Thinking this is the life
And you wake up in the morning and your head feels twice the size
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?
And you're singing the songs
Thinking this is the life
And you wake up in the morning and your head feels twice the size
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?
Friday, July 24, 2009
it's always possible
What an emotional day. I don't know what to say.
Everybody JIAYOUS OK!
On a lighter note, I'm rather happy today although there's a high chance of me flunking Physics, like what I did with Chem, that ended me in Chem Remedial. ^___^
Everybody JIAYOUS OK!
On a lighter note, I'm rather happy today although there's a high chance of me flunking Physics, like what I did with Chem, that ended me in Chem Remedial. ^___^
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
i'm still regretting that decision- but regret is no cure
MY NOTES KEEP DISAPPEARING. I feel utterly sian-ed.
It's not that I didn't want to study OK ._.
To hell with Bio!
P.S. I'm another year older today.
P.P.S. I don't feel like it.
It's not that I didn't want to study OK ._.
To hell with Bio!
P.S. I'm another year older today.
P.P.S. I don't feel like it.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Sunday, July 19, 2009
friends forever... cheesy much?
Sorry I couldn't wait HAHA! Anyway this is my 500th post!
I forgot half the things that happened for the past few weeks already, so I'm only going to skim through.
July 10- Friday,while everyone else was happily e-learning, the Matsuri people had to attend CCA from 10am to 5pm. Went to Ngee Ann City for rehearsal, super tiring. Next day, which was a Saturday, was the actual SYF @ Ngee Ann City. Melted in the hot sun numerous times in 3 layers of costume and make-up that was like cake. But at least the performance was rather successful :D
So many people came to support RV x_x after performance walked around with the girls in Taka. Not walked around, actually. Rather, it was walked in rounds. Zzz LOL.
Past week nothing much, was rather slack 'cause there wasn't much homework. Last Sunday was down with fever and flu (no, it wasn't H1N1 -.-) so skipped drums and piano. Missed the week's PE, too. Had CCA on Friday with the sec 3s, quite fun ^^ teehees. When I went home, met Brendan at my estate's entrance and he passed me my birthday present. First friend to do that this year! Haha. Thanks.
Yesterday was a super memorable day. Morning woke up revised some Physics then left for Bugis and met Rachel and Weiling @ 12pm. Ate at Pastamania then met Yuching @ 1pm. Walked around Bugis for 6 over hours. At around 6 plus pm my dad started bugging me to come home, and I just told him I was shopping.
Rachel CLAIMED that her mother wanted her to go somewhere in Bishan so she wanted to come my house first, and Yuching said she wanted to go over too. So I was like, OK, whatever. When I reached home my mom insisted I showed the girls the BBQ pit and I was rather sian-ed 'cause it's tiring walking around for 6 over hours shopping in Bugis.
Then when I reached the BBQ pits... I realised that my 2E friends were there!!!!!!!
OK lah super stunned couldn't speak coherently for awhile, like WTF ARE THEY DOING HERE?! 'They' referring to Jiarui, SzeNee, Yuhong, Zhijie, Elvin, Qinghe, Weiren and Yonglun. So apparently it was a surpise birthday party, and what a huge surprise, indeed!
Tried to process the fact- that the people were at my house- for a minute, then talked crapped and joked about, then my dad brought down the birthday cake so they celebrated and stuffs... Super happy. Haha. Ate cake then ate 1 sausage 'cause Qinghe koped my another one (but it's OK) then I realised it was going to drizzle soon so we all packed up and went up to my house.
Didn't know my house for 5 people could actually fit 14 people (excluding my second brother 'cause he was out), but nevermind still very fun ^^ Watched One Missed Call behind the sofa cushion and behind my eldest brother. Haha. In between the movie Rachel's parents came to fetch her. Then watched for awhile more, then the movie ended and Harry Potter was still around on Channel 5 so watched a little of that.
Then it was 11 plus at night and the SzeNee's dad came to fetch her already, so the rest left too, giving me their presents before leaving (THANKS LOTS!). My father fetched Weiren, Qinghe and Yuhong home, Yuching's father fetched Jiarui and Elvin home, while Zhijie and Yonglun insisted on taking MRT back. Zzz.
It was a fantastic night, I can say. Thank you Yuhong and Yuching for planning and executing the idea (my mom says it's no use to plan and not execute it), thank you Yuching, Rachel and Weiling for walking around 6 hours at Bugis with me, thank you Zhijie for BBQ-ing (as always :D), thank you Jiarui for helping me rotate my sausages on the BBQ thingy, thank you everyone else for coming x) really really enjoyed it. No wonder Yuching says it was dope. Oh ya and sorry for coming back so late and making you all wait for 2 hours :/
If I can get hold of the pictures from Yuching, maybe, just maybe I'll post it up here. I'm still not believing much of Facebook. Haha.
I can't stop saying how you guys are great, fabulous, whatever. Indescribable. Maybe in twenty years time we'll see ourselves gathering together again. I don't think we'll ever forget each other :}
P.S. YUCHING YOUR BLOG DOESN'T HAVE A TAGBOARD FOR ME TO SPAM BUT FIRSTLY I'M NO MORE KATE SECONDLY THANKS FOR EVERYTHING TOO ^_______^
P.P.S I forgot to blog about today. Haha in between drums and piano today I went shopping again. Rather broke now, haha! But lucky got red packets from the grandmothers and grandfather for my birthday =D Oh ya and ate dinner while celebrating my mother's and my birthday, haha. I also love my family very much ^^
I forgot half the things that happened for the past few weeks already, so I'm only going to skim through.
July 10- Friday,while everyone else was happily e-learning, the Matsuri people had to attend CCA from 10am to 5pm. Went to Ngee Ann City for rehearsal, super tiring. Next day, which was a Saturday, was the actual SYF @ Ngee Ann City. Melted in the hot sun numerous times in 3 layers of costume and make-up that was like cake. But at least the performance was rather successful :D
So many people came to support RV x_x after performance walked around with the girls in Taka. Not walked around, actually. Rather, it was walked in rounds. Zzz LOL.
Past week nothing much, was rather slack 'cause there wasn't much homework. Last Sunday was down with fever and flu (no, it wasn't H1N1 -.-) so skipped drums and piano. Missed the week's PE, too. Had CCA on Friday with the sec 3s, quite fun ^^ teehees. When I went home, met Brendan at my estate's entrance and he passed me my birthday present. First friend to do that this year! Haha. Thanks.
Yesterday was a super memorable day. Morning woke up revised some Physics then left for Bugis and met Rachel and Weiling @ 12pm. Ate at Pastamania then met Yuching @ 1pm. Walked around Bugis for 6 over hours. At around 6 plus pm my dad started bugging me to come home, and I just told him I was shopping.
Rachel CLAIMED that her mother wanted her to go somewhere in Bishan so she wanted to come my house first, and Yuching said she wanted to go over too. So I was like, OK, whatever. When I reached home my mom insisted I showed the girls the BBQ pit and I was rather sian-ed 'cause it's tiring walking around for 6 over hours shopping in Bugis.
Then when I reached the BBQ pits... I realised that my 2E friends were there!!!!!!!
OK lah super stunned couldn't speak coherently for awhile, like WTF ARE THEY DOING HERE?! 'They' referring to Jiarui, SzeNee, Yuhong, Zhijie, Elvin, Qinghe, Weiren and Yonglun. So apparently it was a surpise birthday party, and what a huge surprise, indeed!
Tried to process the fact- that the people were at my house- for a minute, then talked crapped and joked about, then my dad brought down the birthday cake so they celebrated and stuffs... Super happy. Haha. Ate cake then ate 1 sausage 'cause Qinghe koped my another one (but it's OK) then I realised it was going to drizzle soon so we all packed up and went up to my house.
Didn't know my house for 5 people could actually fit 14 people (excluding my second brother 'cause he was out), but nevermind still very fun ^^ Watched One Missed Call behind the sofa cushion and behind my eldest brother. Haha. In between the movie Rachel's parents came to fetch her. Then watched for awhile more, then the movie ended and Harry Potter was still around on Channel 5 so watched a little of that.
Then it was 11 plus at night and the SzeNee's dad came to fetch her already, so the rest left too, giving me their presents before leaving (THANKS LOTS!). My father fetched Weiren, Qinghe and Yuhong home, Yuching's father fetched Jiarui and Elvin home, while Zhijie and Yonglun insisted on taking MRT back. Zzz.
It was a fantastic night, I can say. Thank you Yuhong and Yuching for planning and executing the idea (my mom says it's no use to plan and not execute it), thank you Yuching, Rachel and Weiling for walking around 6 hours at Bugis with me, thank you Zhijie for BBQ-ing (as always :D), thank you Jiarui for helping me rotate my sausages on the BBQ thingy, thank you everyone else for coming x) really really enjoyed it. No wonder Yuching says it was dope. Oh ya and sorry for coming back so late and making you all wait for 2 hours :/
If I can get hold of the pictures from Yuching, maybe, just maybe I'll post it up here. I'm still not believing much of Facebook. Haha.
I can't stop saying how you guys are great, fabulous, whatever. Indescribable. Maybe in twenty years time we'll see ourselves gathering together again. I don't think we'll ever forget each other :}
P.S. YUCHING YOUR BLOG DOESN'T HAVE A TAGBOARD FOR ME TO SPAM BUT FIRSTLY I'M NO MORE KATE SECONDLY THANKS FOR EVERYTHING TOO ^_______^
P.P.S I forgot to blog about today. Haha in between drums and piano today I went shopping again. Rather broke now, haha! But lucky got red packets from the grandmothers and grandfather for my birthday =D Oh ya and ate dinner while celebrating my mother's and my birthday, haha. I also love my family very much ^^
superb sensational surreal Saturday
Me: MY FRIENDS PWNED THE SHIT OUT OF YOURS ^^ THEY ROCK!
My eldest bro: ... (speechless)
Super duper happy last night :D
A different kind of happiness, maybe, just maybe, a kind I've never felt before
Will update more and properly after Bio and Physics test x_X
Friday, July 17, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
the squares, the circles, and the odd-shaped
Sometimes, before I go to sleep, that terror strikes me.
The clock is ticking, but I can't do anything about it.
I'm scared of being scared.
The clock is ticking, but I can't do anything about it.
I'm scared of being scared.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
another really good friend
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIARUI!
So Friday boring school again.
Saturday, finally! Went out with Weiling and Rachel x) Gave Weiling that bracelet, haha. Anyway, we went to watch Duplicity, lol.
It was rather confusing. But quite cool. Haha. After that Weiling had to go off so walked around with Rachel and stuffs. Blah, went home, blah.
Sunday was as usual. Yesterday met up with dancers. Had my favourite McWings for lunch! x)
Today sucked, though CCA was good. ^^
OGG has commenced! Hope it works!
So Friday boring school again.
Saturday, finally! Went out with Weiling and Rachel x) Gave Weiling that bracelet, haha. Anyway, we went to watch Duplicity, lol.
It was rather confusing. But quite cool. Haha. After that Weiling had to go off so walked around with Rachel and stuffs. Blah, went home, blah.
Sunday was as usual. Yesterday met up with dancers. Had my favourite McWings for lunch! x)
Today sucked, though CCA was good. ^^
OGG has commenced! Hope it works!
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
sleep is so last night
Hi, all.
Saturday night went to watch Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen!
I think it rocked, totally. The super-detailed CGI, marvelous sound effects and all. The story line wasn't as good, true, but it was still so cool! And the main character in that movie- Shia LaBeouf, I think he's pretty fantastic. He acted in Eagle Eye too. His acting is damn good.
There you go (I chose a picture with Megan Fox in it too, if not guys would start complaining, man. Just look at Qinghe and Shaoxun. LOL).
Anyway the Sunday before school offically started- I managed to complete my Chinese powerpoint. Finally.
Whatever, school's started, not exactly very fun, but it's still bearable for now. Because it's relatively slack :P
Slack enough for me to be able to watch Ghosts of Girlfriends Past with Weiling yesterday!
Not bad luh, but obviously not as good as Transformers. Haha.
Last night came home from tuition and chiong-ed Elit powerpoint and report. Did until 1 or 2 plus in the morning. Went into the room and found my brother watching Transformers 1 on his laptop. So I joined him. And I ended up only with 1 to 2 hours of sleep. Freaking hell.
Oh well, I guess I deserved it. Haha. School sucked because I was so tired today.
Saturday night went to watch Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen!
I think it rocked, totally. The super-detailed CGI, marvelous sound effects and all. The story line wasn't as good, true, but it was still so cool! And the main character in that movie- Shia LaBeouf, I think he's pretty fantastic. He acted in Eagle Eye too. His acting is damn good.
There you go (I chose a picture with Megan Fox in it too, if not guys would start complaining, man. Just look at Qinghe and Shaoxun. LOL).
Anyway the Sunday before school offically started- I managed to complete my Chinese powerpoint. Finally.
Whatever, school's started, not exactly very fun, but it's still bearable for now. Because it's relatively slack :P
Slack enough for me to be able to watch Ghosts of Girlfriends Past with Weiling yesterday!
Not bad luh, but obviously not as good as Transformers. Haha.
Last night came home from tuition and chiong-ed Elit powerpoint and report. Did until 1 or 2 plus in the morning. Went into the room and found my brother watching Transformers 1 on his laptop. So I joined him. And I ended up only with 1 to 2 hours of sleep. Freaking hell.
Oh well, I guess I deserved it. Haha. School sucked because I was so tired today.
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