Ankle I beg you please heal please heal please please please :((( I'm feeling so damn depressed that I can't run. :(
And The Fault In Our Stars was perhaps the best book ever. I welled up at almost every other page.
Friday, November 30, 2012
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
moments of impact
"How do you look at the woman you love, and tell yourself that it's time to walk away?"
― Leo, The Vow
Monday, November 26, 2012
Have never been one for the numbin'
Spent almost the whole day highing over MarcusButlerTV ^^
And when night falls, shit happens again. As usual.
GAHHH I shall just go and sleep now.
And when night falls, shit happens again. As usual.
GAHHH I shall just go and sleep now.
Saturday, November 24, 2012
rock me
It's one of those nights.
One of those times when I think of all the immense pain you put me through. When I find out something new or read something you posted; when my heart hurts so damn bad I can literally feel it. When I can't focus on anything and waste one whole day just thinking and over-thinking; and when I give up and cry myself to sleep.
This emotional pain is so raw, and a thousand times worse than any physical pain I've felt. But I'm careful though; I never ever let anyone know. I never ever let anyone see me in that state.
All this while I try to bury any feelings, try to pretend like nothing happened- something you are so good at. But it doesn't fucking work. They creep back in and haunt me, tempting me to fall back into the black hole like how they have done many times now.
And every single time I don't resist.
It's one of those nights.
One of those times when I think of all the immense pain you put me through. When I find out something new or read something you posted; when my heart hurts so damn bad I can literally feel it. When I can't focus on anything and waste one whole day just thinking and over-thinking; and when I give up and cry myself to sleep.
This emotional pain is so raw, and a thousand times worse than any physical pain I've felt. But I'm careful though; I never ever let anyone know. I never ever let anyone see me in that state.
All this while I try to bury any feelings, try to pretend like nothing happened- something you are so good at. But it doesn't fucking work. They creep back in and haunt me, tempting me to fall back into the black hole like how they have done many times now.
And every single time I don't resist.
It's one of those nights.
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Twisted
Question to self: What the hell were you thinking?? Saying those things, doing those things.. Only to get that type of response, only to be in this rubbish state right now.
It still aches just thinking about it.
It still aches just thinking about it.
Monday, November 19, 2012
Regrets, I've had a few
"It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you."
― John Green, The Fault In Our Stars
Saturday, November 17, 2012
time after time
It's been almost a month now, but you still have the ability to just crush me. Entirely.
I really fucking hate you sometimes.
And then I hate myself, for letting you do this to me.
I really fucking hate you sometimes.
And then I hate myself, for letting you do this to me.
Monday, November 12, 2012
Sunday, November 11, 2012
You know I'll fight my corner
Dammit I didn't wanna wake up from my second dream!!!!!!! One of the best dreams ever even though I can't really remember a lot of the details. But I knew we went for 3 rounds of car racing..
And you were with me!!
I really tried to distance myself from you a lil last night, tried to just treat you as a friend. Cause I don't wanna get myself hurt again.
I don't think it worked.
And it's been awhile but I still feel the same
And you were with me!!
I really tried to distance myself from you a lil last night, tried to just treat you as a friend. Cause I don't wanna get myself hurt again.
I don't think it worked.
And it's been awhile but I still feel the same
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Finer things
Chem was such a troll bleh BUT I'm never gonna slack like that and chiong last minute again zzzzzz terrible feeling.
Though talking to neighbour was such an unexpected experience! Somehow when I'm with him I feel so secure :o
Though talking to neighbour was such an unexpected experience! Somehow when I'm with him I feel so secure :o
He's serving me drinks
One big fat cup of disappointment and heartbreak right when I wake up.
Enough is enough, seriously. Gotta stop with my nonsense.
Gotta stop with my wishful thinking
Enough is enough, seriously. Gotta stop with my nonsense.
Gotta stop with my wishful thinking
Monday, November 5, 2012
12
What a terrible paper :( didn't even feel like I was taking the A levels!
But whatever, GP's over now. Time to eat lunch. And take a nap.
What a pig :P
But whatever, GP's over now. Time to eat lunch. And take a nap.
What a pig :P
Sunday, November 4, 2012
even as a friend
They said that even when Cancers say "I'm done", they will always end up trying again.
How true.
It kinda broke my heart this morning when I found out how miserable you've been feeling. How I wished I could have asked you to go study months ago so that you wouldn't feel so worried now. How I wished I could have hugged you tight, and tell you that it's gonna be alright, when you were at one of the lowest points in your life. How I wish.. I could have done more.
But I couldn't, because I know it is not my place to do so. And even if I could, I know that it wouldn't help as much as if she was the one who did so.
Whatever I've done definitely isn't enough, but I can only hope that it has made the least bit of difference.
I'll always be here for you.
How true.
It kinda broke my heart this morning when I found out how miserable you've been feeling. How I wished I could have asked you to go study months ago so that you wouldn't feel so worried now. How I wished I could have hugged you tight, and tell you that it's gonna be alright, when you were at one of the lowest points in your life. How I wish.. I could have done more.
But I couldn't, because I know it is not my place to do so. And even if I could, I know that it wouldn't help as much as if she was the one who did so.
Whatever I've done definitely isn't enough, but I can only hope that it has made the least bit of difference.
I'll always be here for you.
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Friday, November 2, 2012
History.. repeats
Never thought I would say this, but
REGRET LIKE FKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK omg I'm such a bloody idiot dammit dammit dammit
And I can't tell anyone who would actually understand :(((((
REGRET LIKE FKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK omg I'm such a bloody idiot dammit dammit dammit
And I can't tell anyone who would actually understand :(((((
One from the past
Had a nightmare from 7.06 to 7.27am. 26 minutes.. Didn't feel so short in the dream!!
Moral of nightmare: don't try to catch butterflies, if not a humongous red plastic toy centipede will come alive and bite you.
MUAHAHAHAHA see? I already told you not to catch that butterfly
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Decouplin'
Decided to chill out at home today, because I'm finally moving on to the memorizing subjects. The small blue slip of bio paper is still empty ._.
Looks like I'm too chill now, been wasting my day awayyyyy. And now when I'm finally starting work, I develop a massive headache. Thanks brain, thanks a lot.
Things are getting better.. without you
Edit: just realised it's now November! Happy November! :)
Looks like I'm too chill now, been wasting my day awayyyyy. And now when I'm finally starting work, I develop a massive headache. Thanks brain, thanks a lot.
Things are getting better.. without you
Edit: just realised it's now November! Happy November! :)
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