those were the days

I sense my eyelids drooping while reading my Bio notes. And I'm totally not absorbing anything, so there's practically no use in reading it. I'd rather read my One Day In The Life Of Ivan Denisovich, it's a tad more interesting. Heh.

Anyway I keep puking after meals these few days. Like yesterday's lunch and this morning's breakfast. I'm not bulimic- I swear!! It's not my fault that my stomach doesn't want to digest anything. Gosh.

Yesterday was spent rather fruitfully, LOL. In the morning I was doing Maths, I think. But at a super slow rate 'cause I kept clicking on iTunes and changing the song. Then afternoon went for drums and piano. I LOVE DRUMS WOOOH. 'Cause it's so damn bloody easy, there's no need for practising, even if you forget what you did the previous week, it's still OK 'cause like I said, it's damn easy. As for piano.. Oh well. It's damn screwed. I don't practise AT ALL throughout the week. GG.

Came home after piano and tried to pia Maths again. In the end I gave up at around 10.15pm and decided to go to sleep. But from 10.15 to 11pm I was surfing the net and stuffs LAWLS.

This morning reached school at 6.15am, was planning to do some work, but while walking to class I was already half asleep, like some friggin' zombie. The moment I sat down on my chair in the empty classroom, I placed my arms on the table and put my head on top.. And there goes my homework. It was a dreamless nap, and in between I think Jiekai came to my class- and tried to disturb me by banging the doors very loudly- and shouted something but I have no idea what it was 'cause I was damn tired and more than half asleep. LOL.

My point is: I slept from 6.15am to 7.20am in class, LAWLS. After that I was wondering why didn't I just sleep later at home instead and reach school much later. After all, my bed would be so much more comfortable. But nevemind.

First period was a waste-time-period, as usual. Art. No music today, 'cause Paul Hung didn't come. HEH.

After recess was Lang Arts, a new teacher came and sat in to listen, I think she has the potential to be a good teacher, just that maybe she won't be strict enough and students will start stepping over her head or something.

Chinese was.. Freaking hell the teacher keep giving homework, homework after homework, after homework..

After lunch I felt lethargic again. Couldn't concentrate during Bio, lol.

Maths was OK, except for the fact that Mr Liu won't be teaching us for 10 weeks already!! ARGHHHH!! Crap the NIE teacher leh. Sian they say 'cause 3E is a good class hence they will let the NIE teacher try out the good class.

Point 1: BULLSHIT. 3E is not a good class. To me anyway.
Point 2: BULLSHIT. Why let NIE teachers take good class? Take already then the standard will drop like crap.

Physics was utter and total bollocks, don't understand don't understand don't understand. Yada yada yada BLAH.

Maths test was.. OK? I finally know how to solve one of the sub-questions then in the end teacher say time's up, lol. But nevermind, I'm still damn happy, managed to finish the whole paper + bonus question, heh.

Anyway you guys wanna read the satire that Pekkhoon, me, Kai Ling and Shao Xun wrote for Elit? We did it in parts and Shao Xun collated everything and I think he made it very cool. Seriously. Read it, don't be put off by the length.

In the defence of Singaporeans

"A first-world nation with a third-world culture". Many times has it been said that Singaporeans are an ungracious lot. Too many, I say. To us, the staunch supporters of our own nation, this is deeply offensive. Although, to a casual observer, it may seem that the actions of a Singaporean are only made in self-interest with complete disregard for others, this is actually an unintentional façade which masks our true, noble motives. Admittedly, our intentions require some complex, challenging lateral thinking to be inferred from our actions and consequently understood, and so this would naturally be a mentally daunting task to some. Thus, your humble author does not blame you if you have been swindled by devious sources into thinking that Singaporeans are a rotten lot. Instead, in my next few arguments, which I hope will prove to be persuasive, I will attempt to enlighten you and to reveal to you how kind-hearted and charitable the nation of Singapore is.

Firstly, I shall explain our allegedly inconsiderate behaviour at the cornerstones of our culture, the exact place where all life originated -- our hawker centres. The very fact that we regard this sacred paradise with utmost respect already ensures that we would rather give up our precious mobiles phones then desecrate it.

Many have the awful misconception that Singaporeans are being selfish by reserving (or, in our native tongue, "choping") tables via the means of packets of tissue paper. These claims are often made on shaky ground, by detractors desperate to tarnish our pristine, pearlescent reputation. In actual fact, this is an act of farsighted prevention.

By marking one's table with a packet of tissue paper, Singaporeans are able to avoid messy territorial brawls due to confusion as to who should get the seat. What if two people who just bought their food reach the table at the same time? Who does the seat belong to? A lone packet of tissue paper is able to eradicate all possibility of squabbles, cursing, swearing and viciously hurling vulgar expletives at the person threatening to usurp your throne, your birthright, your honour. (Of course, the above scenario is strictly hypothetical as Singaporeans are known to be peaceful and forgiving.) Also, with the diverse variety of tissue paper packet designs, the hawker centre is beautified with a vibrant riot of colours. This makes eating a more pleasant affair, especially when empty tissue packets start flying around in the wind, like golden-brown leaves in the cool autumn breeze. One will also be able to see cleaners stunned, staring wide-eyed at the scene, probably awestruck by the magnificence of what we Singaporeans have created.

Furthermore, by buying these packets of tissue paper, we are supporting the old folks that are often the main suppliers for the public. These old people would otherwise be unable to support themselves and would therefore degrade from a respected distributor of crucial goods to a burden and liability to the nation. The practice of leaving a poor soul behind to watch the table can also be abolished. So you see, dear reader, by utilising the otherwise unappreciated packets of tissue paper, us thoughtful Singaporeans are simply trying to be helpful so that people in our society can live amicably together.

Another complaint often heard at hawker centres are that regarding the mess we leave behind after dining. Ah, yes. This is a very good example of the subtle intelligence displayed by us Singaporeans. Just imagine, what will happen if all Singaporeans cleared up their own mess? Would there be a need for janitors? The poor and pathetic foreign workers will have no rubbish to pick up, no mess to clean up, and no job to keep. Their very survival depends on clearing our leftovers. Clean tables would only spell disaster for the poor janitors who will spiral down towards redundancy and obsoleteness. In no time, retrenchment would be on the rise. Thus, by not clearing our own mess, we are giving them a chance to live and continue breeding so their next generation can continue with this honourable business. In fact, we are taking care and showing concern to these pathetic souls who are helpless without our help. Notice the smiles on their faces when they come and clear the tables for us, while we obliviously sit there, blissful and content with the knowledge that we have once again saved them from starvation and extinction.

Insensitivity is also another crime we are charged with, even though it is obvious that this sort of heinousness is far beneath us. Others are simply mistaking our famed practicality that has brought us countless financial and economic success for it. Although we religiously scour through the obituaries for death dates to buy TOTO or 4D with, we are merely acting on logic. The dead would be a lot more useful as suppliers of luck then simply being, well, dead. Never mind if the death date belongs to a young girl who was kidnapped and subsequently cruelly mutilated, killed and raped by a crazed serial paedophile. As long as it brings in good money, everything is easily justified.

Another instance when we display our supposed insensitivity is when a tragic accident occurs and we simply stand aside, furiously jotting down the site, date, time and other details of the accident while taking photographs and videos. Woefully misguided people say that this is prime evidence which supports their stand, but first, I would like to draw up a scenario: A man is jay-walking and talking on his handphone. A victim of mobile addiction, he is overly engrossed in his phone conversation and does not realise a car speeding towards him. The driver of the car tries to brake, but nonetheless, the car does not stop in time and rams into the man. The man is flung in a long arc like a rag doll, and lands headfirst on the ground, skids a few more metres, and lays there, a bleeding mess. The driver of the car attempts to drive off, only to run his car over the man's body on the road. When the car has been driven off, it can be seen that blood is flowing out profusely from a ripped wound where the arm, now an unidentifiable heap of lacerations and crushed bones, used to be. The man's abdomen has a gaping hole, and ribs are pierced through his lungs and protruding. When Singaporeans witness this accident, they would immediately whip out their handphones take pictures of the gruesome scene, but none of them would call the police or the ambulance. At this point, the slow-witted may think that Singaporeans are extremely cold and unsympathetic to the blight of others. They also accuse us of having a morbid interest in death, which is absolutely untrue. What motivates Singaporeans to take photos or videos is essentially human nature. It is innocent curiosity, the very same thing that spurred Einstein to research atomic relativity and Newton to wonder about the forces of gravity, which is why we are interested in these incidents. There is no sadistic pleasure and there definitely isn't any necrophilia. I, for one, am sure that the hearts of the onlookers are filled only with grief and sympathy for the victims and his family. The allegations of cruelty are inaccurate.

Occasionally, a grossly misinformed lowlife would grumble about the etiquette of Singaporeans aboard public transport. We are not being rude or impolite when we do not give up our seats to others; we are simply being mindful of the person's feelings. Wouldn't you be furious when you, a perfectly healthy and fit middle-aged man, is insulted by the insolent teen who regards you as someone frail and weak and therefore in need of a seat? Wouldn't you be fuming mad when people give up their seat for you and assume you are pregnant when in reality you are simply…a little bit on the plump side? This not only shows that Singaporeans are a caring and thoughtful bunch, it also reflects our ability to think ahead, to consider possible consequences and make correct decisions. Plus, when one gives up the seat to a person, that person will feel indebted to you and feel guilty and not be able to sit comfortably on the seat without his or her conscience weighing on his or her heart. Thus, by not giving up the seat, we are actually trying not to disturb the conscience of others.

I believe that the above explanations effectively debunk the false accusations and allegations that us long-suffering Singaporeans have had to live with for such a long time. I also hope that this has converted some drastically misinformed, sad, over-accusatory individuals into enlightened, logical and sensible people. We are a nation of good people, and not the bunch of inconsiderate, ungracious, selfish, insensitive jerks that we are so often perceived to be. Now, what was the licence plate number of that car?