trying

Hi people :D

It's a free and lazy Wednesday afternoon with NO CCA, NO Science make-up lessons, and this is a nearly once-in-a-month chance that I get to leave school at 2pm, so I'm happy and I shall update! LOL.

Well that weekend after SYF ended I went to watch Confessions of a Shopaholic with my brother, haha. I thought it would've been those kind of lame chick-lit kind of movies, but it turned out to be better than expected. I like their accent!

2 days later on Monday night I went to watch Knowing. Jesus, LOL. I thought science-fiction movies were not supposed to be so scary! Well OK maybe it's because I'm faint hearted, but look here, I can't be blamed! I think that this movie is scarier than horror movies. Because in horror movies, most of the stuff's made up, while in that movie, whatever said was so true, so possible, I couldn't help but wonder. And then ended up scary the shit out of myself. ): Ahh well.

Then the next day after school I went to watch 17 Again with Yuching, Elvin, Yuhong, Chongtat, I think. I can't quite remember, LOL. Because it was the Chinese Dance's SYF on that day, Abigail and I rushed to UCC straight after school to support the Chinese dancers ^_^ By the time we went back to school, it was already 3 plus. Well I know my friends are good and kind souls 'cause they waited for me to go back to school and then go to Vivo to meet them to watch the movie, while they had free ice-creams from Ben&Jerry's free cone day. Haha. The movie was OK I guess. I love Zac Efron's eyes X_X

Since that week was two weeks before exams, and there weren't any CCA, I quickly watched all the movies I wanted to, LOL. 'Cause before that I had no time X_X and missed out on so many good movies ): Plus actually that Friday of the week I wanted to catch Fast and Furious 4 with Richie but in the end not going 'cause I got back my Chem test paper, LOLOL. I screwed so badly, and it spoiled my entire day. Jeez.

The next few days were a blur, with the Self-study break and all, plus Labour Day, and stuffs. And then the Sunday just before exams were supposed to start, my great-grandfather passed away. ): It felt kind of weird and all, like a 'lil part of me that was unable to grasp the truth and understand that fact.

Well of course the next few days in between exams, I went to the funeral at night. I hardly saw anybody crying, and when I asked my dad about that, he just replied something along the lines of "because he is already 100 years old." I was kinda shocked. I mean like, who cares how old you are when you die, so as to decide if they should cry or not? I thought crying at a funeral was usually when people are sad that the deceased is gone, like forever (although the Present Perfect Tense magazine insists that Chinese do that because it's a form of respect, like wth LOL).

Think you can guess as much how close my great-grandfather was to others, huh.

Anyway they found this Lee Kuan Yew's book among his belongings when he passed away. So I guess that's how he managed to not get senile.. Reading, alone, in his own little bubble of world. Perfect pastime.

Exams were.. Well, Lang Arts was OK, Chemistry made me unsure, Physics was better than expected, Biology was a bastard, English Lit was fun, Higher Chinese was sluggish, and I wanted to kick Math's ass.

Exams ended yesterday, and while everybody could happily go out for a movie or go home to eat sleep shit, we dancers were stuck in school. For CCA. The only good thing was that in between the end of exams and the start of CCA, there was 5 hours to spare, so Jieru, Rebecca, Abigail, Rachel, Weiling and I went to Plaza Sing's Pastamania to eat lunch ^^ We didn't go Vivo nor Queensway 'cause we thought it would be packed with RV people. Then we came back and dance was wth-ish LOL. Warm up was terrible- Benedict Soh really knows how to torture people. The rest was.. Well I don't wanna talk about it. Laughed alot though.

Woke up this morning with a body full of aches and a horrible flashback of my nightmare last night- about this 2 guys who were committing suicide by jumping off from above the Science Labs in RV and landing on the school track... which happened to be a few metres away from where I was standing, in my dream. Ugh.

Well just last night I was talking to Stanley about suicide. Hmm I have been thinking alot about it haven't I. To even be able to dream of it. ):

In school there was a briefing on OBS today. After the briefing, I felt damn pekcek lor LOL. What is it that the school has against my birthday (!) Z_Z Year after year, I don't get to celebrate my birthday on the actual day itself because of school reasons. Last year was West M'sia trip. This year is OBS. Smack right in the middle of OBS somemore. SIAN. D<

Anyway Ms Ling gave out a piece of worksheet that asked for our favourite subjects, what we thought of school, areas of improvement in school, what our parents thought about our studies, etc etc. There were so many cold yet the ultimate true answers I could think of, and I wanted to write them all down, but I guessed in the end, I didn't, because it was to be handed in.

Ahh, shutting myself out, as usual.

Let Love In - Goo Goo Dolls

You wait
Wanting this world to let you in
And you stand there, a frozen light
In dark and empty streets

You smile hiding behind a God-given face
But I know you're so much more
Everything they ignore
Is all that I need to see

You're the only one I ever believed in
The answer that could never be found
The moment you decided to let love in

Now I'm banging on the door of an angel
The end of fear is where we begin
The moment we decided to let love in

I wish
Wishing for you to find your way
And I'll hold on for all you need
That's all we need to say

And I'll take my chances while
You take your time with this game you play
But I can't control your soul, you need to let me know
You leaving or you gonna stay

You're the only one I ever believed in
The answer that could never be found
The moment you decided to let love in

Now I'm banging on the door of an angel
The end of fear is where we begin
The moment we decided to let love in

There's nothing we can do about
The things we have to do without
The only way to feel again
Is let love in

There's nothing we can do about
The things we have to live without
The only way to see again
Is let love in

You're the only one I ever believed in
The answer that could never be found
The moment you decided to let love in

Now I'm banging on the door of an angel
The end of fear is where we begin
The moment we decided to let love in