Life is supposed to feel good when there aren't lessons in school for the day. Emphasize on 'supposed'.
People change. They do it all the time. And sometimes, maybe I can't handle it. I was hoping to remain friends with you through the vicissitudes of the years. You were the coolest girl. You knew all the right words to say. You helped me through rough times, understood when I was being a bitch. You apprehended perfectly the reasons for all my doings.
Then, suddenly, you were gone. You didn't realize it, but you took those carpet rides and never came back. I felt sore, and was glad when you asked. Yet you still didn't get it. You don't ever get it anymore.
You felt the need to spread your wings and start flying. There was even someone to guide you. Anyway if you did, I would have understood. I would have.
I'm pushing my luck, what I'm doing. I know. Someday you'll get sick of this and not bother anymore. I'm waiting to see if that day will ever come. I hope it doesn't, truly.
Because currently I'm already dying a little on the inside. I wasn't as strong as I thought I was. Ugh, I gotta get over myself. This sucks.
On a lighter note, the later part of today was quite OK. Hanging out with Szenee and Jiarui, talking some with Elvin and Alvin, they were all damn cool. Now I know.
Lunch/dinner with Weiren made it better. It was easier with him, I didn't have to pretend. I don't think he was, either. I'm kind of tired of all that. I almost let slip what I thought, because it felt so sincere and honest. It's sensitive issue, and I don't think anybody should know. I can't tell, because they might not agree with me. It's hard to find somebody who'll understand.
I was really really glad I signed up for the IMCB thing, I surprise myself. It's been long since I've done something like that. It felt gratifying, just like that.
Homo, fuge.
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