Well done

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And to think I still wonder why I want to quit.

Tired eyes

I didn't know what happened today. But I'm so glad- thanks Yuching Shiyi Mengying Huiying Yuyan Peiling Stanley Jieru Weiling Gladys Rebecca for keeping me sane.

Thanks so much.

Damn nice song introduced by Fiona.
Love The Way You Lie - Eminem (feat. Rihanna)

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that's all right because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
Well that's all right because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

I can't tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now it's a steel knife in my windpipe
I can't breathe but I still fight while I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight

High off her love, drunk from my hate, it's like I'm huffin' paint
And I love it the more I suffer, I suffocate
And right before I'm about to drown, she resuscitates me, she fuckin' hates me

And I love it, "wait, where you goin'?"
"I'm leavin' you,"
"No you ain't come back"
We're runnin' right back, here we go again

So insane, cause when it's goin' good it's goin' great
I'm superman with the wind in his back, she's Lois Lane
But when it's bad it's awful, I feel so ashamed I snap
Whose that dude? I don't even know his name
I laid hands on her
I never stoop so low again
I guess I don't know my own strength

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that's all right because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
Well that's all right because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

You ever love somebody so much you can barely breathe
When you with 'em you meet and neither one of you even know what hit 'em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah them chills used to get 'em
Now you're getting fuckin' sick of lookin' at 'em

You swore you'd never hit 'em, never do nothin' to hurt 'em
Now you're in each other's face spewin' venom in your words when you spit 'em
You push pull each other's hair
Scratch claw hit 'em throw 'em down pin 'em
So lost in the moments when you're in 'em

It's the face that's the culprit, controls you both
So they say it's best to go your seperate ways
Guess that they don't know ya
Cause today that was yesterday
Yesterday is over, it's a different day
Sound like broken records playin' over

But you promised her next time you'll show restraint
You don't get another chance
Life is no nintendo game, but you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave out the window
Guess that's why they call it window pane

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that's all right because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
Well that's all right because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Now I know we said things, did things, that we didn't mean
And we fall back into the same patterns, same routine
But your temper's just as bad as mine is, you're the same as me
When it comes to love you're just as blinded

Baby please come back, it wasn't you, baby it was me
Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is I love you too much to walk away though

Come inside, pick up the bags off the sidewalk
Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk?
Told you this is my fault, look me in the eyeball
Next time I'm pissed I'll aim my fist at the drywall

Next time there won't be no next time
I apologize even though I know it's lies
I'm tired of the games I just want her back
I know I'm a liar if she ever tries to fuckin' leave again
I'ma tie her to the bed and set this house on fire

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that's all right because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
Well that's all right because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Lipstick palm

Hello!

Had CCA again on Tuesday. It was really odd, first time I felt so miserable during a dance practice. Totally wavered my decision to stay. I really don't wish to be doing the same old things for the next two years of my life. Also, the lack of lunch (!!) during CCA days which essentially means the lack of basic human rights. But if I leave I don't know where to go. Whatever happened to the window-shopping?? I can't even see the window?!

Anyway today I was thinking about loads of stuff, like questions that intrigued me and all. During LA the essay questions that we had to analyse were totally so.. weird. The question on whether parents should be punished for the crimes that their teenage children commit sparked off thoughts of whether people were born "pure" or not. Then I recalled a question that Ern Chuen was asking everyone last year- whether humans are inherently good.

I remember I thought a lot about that.. but I forgot everything already. LOL.

Then in Bio we learnt that photosynthesis actually caused a phenomenom where anaerobic organisms were wiped out. Because previously when there weren't plants, there was no oxygen in the atmosphere. So the first few species on Earth did not need oxygen. But then plants came about and oxygen were toxic to those species. Only those which mutated could survive.

(Woah crash course ^^)

And then suddenly I thought about why evolution occured and humans were formed. I wondered if the world would have been a much better place without humans. Because essentially since we have a way better ability to communicate than any other species, we spread our networks too wide and sort of dominate Earth? Then we start destroying it unknowingly. There should be a reason why we classify things as "natural" and "man-made". Why do I not hear of like, for example, "fish-made" or "gorilla-made", for that matter?

Because we are smart! But too smart of our own good. So many "man-made" stuffs are destroying to nature. But if we weren't around.. it would have been a different case entirely... But then again maybe some other even more horrible creature (yes I think humans are horrible) may be formed and Earth would be a worse state than now (which would be terribly bad).

Ahh.. nevermind.

Anyway NDP is coming soon! And I too, got a dream for Singapore!

My dream for Singapore is that peace and harmony can be maintained in our country.

Because frankly I'm a little worried. With the rise of globalisation, I'm sure the number of foreigners in our country would increase as well. With such a diverse range of races and nationalities, it may be possible that a lot conflicts may arise due to the differences in cultures.

So I do hope that every Singapore would do his/her part in keeping the racial harmony within our country. Because ultimately, to me, what is most important in a country is peace.

Without peace, the government would find it very hard to implement anything because there is a lack of control and the country would eventually not prosper since it would be in such a chaotic and messy state.

Did that sound really politically correct? LOL but I was really sincere and honest when I thought that. As in, that is really what I want for Singapore.

And today's Chinese and Maths test weren't too bad. More tests coming up!!! Z

I have been listening to this song so much! I'm afraid I might get really sick of it soon, though.

Stay Here Forever - Jewel

I'm laying here dreaming, staring at the ceiling
Wasting the day away
The world's flying by, our window outside
But hey baby that's OK
This feels so right it can't be wrong
So far, as I can see
Where you wanna go, baby, I'll do anything

'Cause if you wanna go, baby let's go
If you wanna rock, I'm ready to roll
And if you wanna slow down
We can slow down together

If you wanna walk, baby let's walk
Have a little kiss, have a little talk
We don't gotta leave at all
We can lay here forever
Stay here forever

If you wanna see that Italian tower leaning
Baby we can leave right now
If that's too far, we can jump in the car
And take a little trip around town
They say that California
Is nice and warm this time of year
Baby, say the word, and we'll just disappear

'Cause if you wanna go, baby let's go
If you wanna rock, I'm ready to roll
And if you wanna slow down
We can slow down together

If you wanna walk, baby let's walk
Have a little kiss, have a little talk
We don't gotta leave at all
We can lay here forever
Stay here forever

Oh, it's a big world for a boy and a girl
Letting go of it all
Holding on to one another
Oh, there's a whole lot of world to discover
Under the covers

So if you wanna go, baby let's go
If you wanna rock, I'm ready to roll
And if you wanna slow down
We can slow down together

If you wanna walk, baby let's walk
Have a little kiss, have a little talk
We don't gotta leave at all
We can lay here forever
Stay here forever

Let's just lay here forever
Stay here forever

I love the smell of paint and petrol

Thursday was so weird and all. After school met up with Dancers-under-Mr Liu + Gladys and Michelle to attend Mr Liu's mini tuition for the Maths we missed the first week of school. He seriously rocks!!! ^^

Somehow was late for tuition by a little but at least I'm back!! That night I wrote so many essays, seriously. Like tuition essay, Chinese 2 essays and Lit essay. Felt kinda inspirational.

Friday after school watched Eclipse with Yuching and Yuhong!!!! It was damn nice, somehow :D Way better than New Moon. I think the characters all looked more defined and clean and so much more gorgeous? Yuching told me I'm supposed to hate Bella after the movie but I didn't.. I just think she's weird and funny and odd.

After the movie we strolled to Wheelock and Yuching recommended me the book PostSecret. Spent the whole time reading it and finished it lol. It was so depressing z but I realize I have some similar secrets

Today went out with Huiying Yuyan Jacky Zhangyong Shaun Yuechwen and Ernchuen for that Chinese xiangsheng performance thingy. Before that there was the Curious Case of Jacky's slippers.. actually not curious at all but super hilarious. The show was quite funny lol. After the performance Jacky bought another pair of slippers and then Ern Chuen left. Remaining people shopped around and then ate at Food Junction and played zhongji until we decided to go home.

Now I'm back.

It's a big world

I'm supposed to be catching up on my homework now.. But sod it! ZZ

Anyway I know it's a little lag to be typing this- but SYF Mass Display Opening Ceremony is finally over!

No more 8am-5pm (for the last few days, till 10pm) CCAs for 3 consecutive weeks.
No more coming home and crashing almost immediately after bathing.
No more worrying about whether there's enough make up in the dance studio for so many people.
No more rushed lunches @ KFC/ McDonalds.
No more weird meal timings.
No more feeling so frustrated during the few lessons here and there.

But then again..

No more hanging out with dancers (!!!).
No more playing zhong ji and ummjiji on the bus/ everywhere else!
No more gossiping with the Sec 1 Dancers.
No more gossiping, period.
No more missing lessons.
No more doing make up (especially glitter!) for so many people.
No more enjoying the AC of Singapore Indoor Stadium.
No more being so high during the finale!
And to Rebecca: No more Cat High guys LOLOL HAHA

:(

At least there was some Post-SYF Mass Display-Activity yesterday. The ice cream! Frankly it sucked but the thrill was more of missing lessons (mine was Chinese YAY) to eat LOL.

Anyway the preview last Friday was super ultra weird LOL. First time dancing among audience. Everyone (well at least the little kids) were so intrigued and kept whispering, staring and taking photos! I'm so sorry we were distractions to the performance on the stage :P Anyway Meiyu was pretty cool in making the signboard fly out after hitting it from one action of the dance (Y) Btw, the signboard was still where it landed the next day/Saturday on the actual SYF Opening Ceremony.

The actual one was so much better- at least I got a little used to the audience and there were no mishap (maybe except that my safety pin AND my flower flew out). The finale was super high!!!! Screamed like mad with the rest ^^

Monday was Youth Day (what youth day?~!@#$%^). Tried to catch up on my work but totally couldn't because I was at a loss. Ended up staying up till 4.30am doing my LA reading tasks.. Well as a Lang Arts rep that's the only homework I could have at least done, right?

Woke up at 5.30am an hour later. FML.

Yesterday pretty much sucked considering I was so tired.. But I felt so empty. No more dance and dancers lol. At least we went out for lunch which was quite fun :) Went home, totally got KO-ed.. But today was much better. Classes are actually better now yay.

And, after reading this: http://sg.yfittopostblog.com/2010/07/05/are-students-over-burdened-with-schoolwork/
I felt just a little bit more justified.

But what's with the real elephant?! Z

Sensually stoned

Breathe Me - Sia

Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Who are they?

I choose to believe in what he once was- not who he has become.

But then again, they say, "Don't cling on to the past."

Just get back up

Consecutive days.. Exhausting exhausting exhausting. Experienced the kind of nausea never felt before- just because I'm horribly tired when I wake up in the morning.

But then again, we have to persevere!!!@#$%^^

Although it was really depressing today when I went back to attend Maths lesson and realized I'm totally screwing up. The sense of helplessness...

O well.