when you're happy and hateful

LOL, got this from an email. I LMAO-ed. Already removed some vulgarities while copying over here. Haha, enjoy.

9 Things I Hate About Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is, pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3. When people say 'You can't have a cake and eat it'. Damn wrong! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say 'It's always the last place you look'. Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this?

5. When people turns to you and say 'Did you see that?' after an exciting scene while watching a film. No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6. People who ask 'Can I ask you a question?' Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya, sunshine?

7. When something is stated 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8. When people say 'Life is short'. What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks 'Has the bus come yet?'. If the bus came would I be standing here, dude?