It's one of those nights.
One of those times when I think of all the immense pain you put me through. When I find out something new or read something you posted; when my heart hurts so damn bad I can literally feel it. When I can't focus on anything and waste one whole day just thinking and over-thinking; and when I give up and cry myself to sleep.
This emotional pain is so raw, and a thousand times worse than any physical pain I've felt. But I'm careful though; I never ever let anyone know. I never ever let anyone see me in that state.
All this while I try to bury any feelings, try to pretend like nothing happened- something you are so good at. But it doesn't fucking work. They creep back in and haunt me, tempting me to fall back into the black hole like how they have done many times now.
And every single time I don't resist.
It's one of those nights.
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