.

today
lessons as usual
chinese had another mock test for gong han
gong han is super easy lor
lols

according to elvin,
i wrote some interesting stuff on my arm today
it was impulsive
it was a true example of over obsession (which he claimed he was joking for this statement)
&its hot love.

man, i love the way he describes the way im feeling for the-guy-in-our-class-who-was-wearing-centaur-t-shirt-today. short form, the guy.

am im confessing something here?
nah, since practically everyone knows about it already.
xD

assembly
went to hall for some yoga thingy
quite okay except it was kinda boring
lol
then got cross country briefing
go back to class alr 2pm liao
supposed to be released le
then li lao shi walk in and start to go through with us the gong han
lmao

then after that arrange table and chair for exam
zz
after we were released
amanda went home
me, lizhen and jiarui go canteen eat
lol saw the guy playing soccer
spirits lifted up by alot
LOL

bought strawberry milk and some seaweed chicken cos didnt feel like eating laska
we sat at the seats got v good view of the soccer field de
so nice sia
lmao

then yewhui come back from soccer field
treat him and they all drink
then bought another drink for them again
got lizhen to go to the soccer field and pass to them LOL
thanks lizhen
:x

i saw the guy smiling after receiving the drink
i felt damn happy
rofl

anyway
heres an extract from a storybook i was reading
the way the guy replied the girl at the last part
super sweet lor

things to take note before reading the story:
-i removed some parts in the middle cos i want to hurry up and get to the sweet part LOL
-Lee is the name of one of the 2 girls
-the other girl is Julia
-the narrator is a boy, named Scott
-Scott liked Julia since young, but Julia does not seem to like him back
-so Scott started interacting and talking with Lee, and now their relationship is improving
-this scene happened at their school’s winter dance which was held in the gym

hope you understand, since it’s a real nice story.

“Want to dance?” I barely heard my own voice, but I guess it was loud enough since she nodded.

We started dancing. It was a fast song, and I figured I looked like chicken that had just encountered a high-tension power line. But Lee didn’t seem to mind.

When the music stopped, I noticed a lot of people were still watching us. So there I was, at the last social event of the year, dancing with a great girl. A girl who wasn’t afraid to be herself. And who wasn’t afraid to step away from the safety of her chosen identity. I doubt there were many other kids in the gym—or anywhere else, for that matter—who had the courage to do what Lee has done.

“She looks sad,” Lee said when we took a break to grab a soda.

I followed her gaze and spotted Julia standing by herself near the rear exit. “Yeah, she does look sad,” I said. “She broke up with Vernon the other night.”

“Why don’t you dance with her,” Lee said.

“What?”

“Go on. No girl should stand around by herself all night, unless she likes being alone. And I don’t think Julia is that sort of girl.”

“She might not want to dance,” I said.

“Sure she would, Scott.”

“If you insist.” I walked toward Julia. This was like one of my dreams. Except each step took a whole lot of effort, as if the gym floor had suddenly tilted forty-five degrees.

“Hi. You okay?” I asked when I reached her.

Julia gave me a sad smile. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

I guess girls lie about that, too. “Dance?” I asked.

She nodded. “I’d like that.”

The band started a slow song. Ohmygod. Before I could dash away and hide, Julia stepped up close, and put a hand on my shoulder and another around my back.

We danced.

Everything felt so unreal. The dance lasted a lifetime, but ended in an eyeblink. We swayed together for a moment after the music stopped. I think she would have stayed in my arms forever. After an eternity, I let go of her and stepped back.

“Thanks,” Julia said. “That was nice of you.”

“My pleasure.”

I went back to Lee. “That wasn’t such a bad suggestion.”

“I thought so.”

The band played another slow song.

I opened my arms and Lee stepped toward me as if we’d done this a million times.

“So, who do you like dancing with better?” she asked, resting her head against my shoulder.

“That’s not the sort of question I’d expect from you,” I said.

“People change,” she said.

“Yeah. Everything changes. Flux is all around us.” Who did I like dancing with better? I held her a bit closer. “No contest, Lee.”

.

love.
icecream.
love.
boy.
love.
life.
cos i havent started thinking about the exams yet.

.

so tired now.
walked that stretch of road alone
with an injured knee and a fucking hell load of books.

can't wait for the exams to be over
and then i can finally have some fun.
some real fun.

.

sprained my knee the day before yesterday.
i didn't even know knees could be sprained.
it really hurts.
as in the, omgwtf-why-is-my-knee-so-bloody-painful kind of hurt.

doctor gave me painkillers.
he said it was abit swollen..
i just cant find the swollen part no matter how hard i look.


Ninety percent of everything is crap.
-Sturgeon's law

.

Nobody has any idea what really goes on in her life,
she doesn't know what's happening within herself either.
But as the tears on her cheeks glistened in the moonlight
there's one thing she knows for sure:
and that she can't take it anymore.

Her usual strong voice,
has lowered to barely a whisper.
She locks everything inside herself
and then she throws away the keys.

She'd rather die,
than live such a stressful life
and then breakdown.

.

sorry for not posting yesterday,
i stayed back after school to do chem and stuff
and then i had tuition at night
so i was super tired
didnt feel like blogging lol

anyway
today
sch as usual
malay test was freakingly funny
after school
stayed back for chem remedial

i would actually really LIKE chem if it werent for so much memorising to do
>O

anyone want to go jel study this sat?
im pretty much screwed up for this exam anyway.

and also,
anyone want to go click five concert on 1june?
pay ur own money.
'cept for qinghe LOL

.

ohkay
so had a really long day today
maybe not really long
but kinda long
i guess.

but fun !
xD

so.
apparently those people who went atlanta got champion for the FLL competition.
congrats :D
yuching and lizhen are so darn proud of their cca xD
well,
they deserve to be .
haha

lessons
blah
blah
blah

after school
xDDD
cos i have no cca
so i went to comp lab to find yuching
since its like,
they were having pt so only yuching and a few other people inside

she was trying to teach me photoshop
but i dont talk photoshop
so didnt really understand LOL

blah
then halfway szenee came in
said she was having CO break
intheend she pon-ed the rest of her CO
influenced by me :DD

after yuching's cca ended
we went her hse
played some shooting game that szenee was super pro at
then played ddr
helped yuching unlock new songs and stages
LOL

then came home
blah
zz

today,
i laugh alot lorh.
courtesy of yuching and szenee.

YUCHING & SZENEE ROCKS ! ! :DD

.

stomach hurts
D;

dont feel like blogging.

.

yawn.
sian man.
morning wake up
read book
eat breakfast
read book
go restaurant
eat lunch
come home
read book
teach kor jap
read finish book
go plaza sing
piano lesson
come home
go out
eat dinner
come home
use comp.

later
off comp
pack stuff
go room
lie on bed
sleep.

byebye.

.

im feeling damn hellish now.

my mom went for that stupid high achievers talk this morning
and i think she was kind of influenced by it.
so a moment ago she was asking me (in a demanding way),
"ur last term gpa how much?"
i said,
"3.3"
and guess what she said.
she went,
"u this term cannot 3.3. MUST get 3.4 or more. if not we will have to limit ur computer usage. YOU HAVE TO IMPROVE YOUR GRADES."

FUCK HER LA.
my whole life she never do this kind of thing to me before.
shit the stupid high achievers talk man.
now all she knows is improve grades improve grades improve grades.
since when has she become like that?

i thought only unlucky people have these kind of parents.
i thought i was lucky.
i thought wrong.

now i dont feel like waking up during school days anymore.

.

im sick of my blogskin already.
just too lazy to go find a new one.

okay.
weekends officially suck.

and plus my back is feeling totally.. way too bendy.
so when i sit up straight
i feel a sense of familiarity and pain.
zz

cause yesterday dance
doing this jump and bend back thing
coach complimented on this girl
that bitch's head got bigger
and coach wanted us to do it as good as her

so i was jumping real high,
it was hard to find the floor.
bended my back so good,
it was hard to bend it more.

im totally not in the mood for studying.
so i read books.
and my dad yells at me for not studying.
i just ignore him -_-
then he sighs and shows his disappointment in me and everything
i just ignore him somemore -.=

its hard to explain to him
ever since my term 1 grades were so lousy
its hard to find motivation in studying anymore.

cause,
what if
i study real hard
but its still so lousy
still cant beat no girls

i'll be damn whacked ohkay.

compared to
if i actually didnt bother to study
and my grades sucked

at least,
theres an excuse for myself
that im lazy and not stupid.

and now its 5 in the afternoon
not many people online
im bored out of my mind

so i have resorted to eating.
now for me,
saturday's for pigging out.

really, man.
ive eaten so much ever since after lunch.
-a slice of cheese
-one quarter of a BIG pack of prawn crackers
-many biscuits
-one coffee-milk sweet (it tasted like shit, so i spit it out after biting half of it)
-one choco-mint sweet (this one was wayyyyy better)
-15 grapes
-more biscuits
-another one quarter of the BIG pack of prawn crackers
-6 jellybeans

this is.. omfg la.
those health articles always tell us not to consume snacks between meals.
damnit man.

first, im gonna put on so much weight.
do u think it will pass 40 though?
hope it doesnt.

second, i dont think i will have any stomach space left for dinner.
cos im feeling quite full already
D:
and what if dinner is something really nice like fish head curry or something.
it'll be so wasted.
aww.
crap.

and now my bro keeps remixing songs here and there,
blasting it full volume
im getting a headache
WHY DID MY PARENTS BUY THAT APPLE MACBOOK PRO FOR HIM
&WHY MUST HIS BEST FRIEND COME FROM THE FILM, MEDIA, AND STUDIES COURSE AND TEACH HIM MORE ABOUT SONGS, VIDEOS AND STUFF

-_-

after reading Panic
i dont feel like reading my books anymore
stupid richie.
LOL

havent been able to find good books for quite some time already.
sian
talking about books,
it will remind me of my dad asking me to study.
and i will remember that IP Assessment isnt that faraway.

damnit.
but still not mugging.

.

but then again,
here you go.

♥♥

My heart is empty without you
Sometimes you don't know what to do
And I need you tonight, I'll fall asleep and it's alright
Close my eyes and I'll be by your side

Let's spend tonight on top of the world
And we can do anything, we can be anything
I'll meet you tonight, on top of the world
As real as it seems, you're only in my dreams

.

everyone's on my case.

im gonna prove them wrong.
I WILL LEARN TO FALL
AND STAND BACK UPRIGHT AGAIN.

i will get some STRONG willpower.
yes.
willpower makes m'lady goes round.
she shall rock with willpower.
like she has promised,
shes not looking anymore
or at least, much lesser now.

SHE WILL MAKE HER HEART GO NUMB
no hot, no cold
no fast, no slow
no high, no low
no stop, no go.

she will learn to SURVIVE.

.

morning woke up
blah
left the house
after 10 min of driving then realise that forgot to bring dance stuff.
so made dad u-turn and went to get it.

reached school
did maths
copied actually
z

realised i forgot to bring home econs stuff
went to borrow from kristal
ty kristal

first period sci
zz
stupid presentation
zzz

lessons blahh
recess blahh
home econs blahh

maths test
SUCKED
-_-

no malay test
teacher and her paper balls as usual

sch ended
found out no dance
cos apparently dance instructor sick
so tmr have to go
zzz
this morning turned back home for nothing ):

went vivo with amanda and lizhen
borrowed lizhen's cube on the way there
i solved, she mixed, i solved, she mixed and so on

slow-walked to macs at harbourfront
not saying no to macwings and greentea
ate finish
uber full

slow-walked back to vivo
they went to the busstop
i went to the mrt
came home
continued reading Panic
i left it in school yesterday
): so was so idle at home

no one at home
as usual
eldest bro always hanging out with his poly frens now
2nd bro always playing soccer or basketball or something to avoid coming home
if not he come home mom will make him do work since hes havin olevels this year
parents working
z
sian
D:

hope tmr li lao shi wont blow up over the F grade we got for our class
._.

just babbling in this post today
not much
kinda tired

i promise
i wont be jealous from now on.
i dont feel like sharing
but im not a selfish person.

i wont look at you no more
cause its hurting too much for me.

bet you dont know.

.

i bet it wouldnt hurt if i didnt post for just a day.

.

yooo.
haha.
omg
today
was
a
super
tiring
day
and
i
dont
feel
like
blogging
about
it
but
i
shall
still
do
so
anyway
since
i
feel
even
less
like
doing
my
bao
zhang
du
hou
gan
D:

anyway.
today
lessons
blah
got caught for my hair during chinese againnnnnnnnnnnn :x
zz
got teased in chinese againnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn -_-
haha

yay.
my bro just fed me sotong ball.
love it man.

back to today.
geog went comp lab.
history tcher nvr come,
i think simin v happy
lol
sci tcher nvr come also
relief tcher taught the class a new word :D
although some of us know already.
LOL

then had cca
for like, half an hour?
before going to napfa.
supposed to assemble at 3.30
but before that we had a mini gathering in our classrm
qinghe they all,
so sick la.
zzz
then did 5 stations
yay got gold !
had been getting gold all the way since pri school anyway.
z
then had to go back to dance
):
so tired le.
zzz

tmr i wake up confirm cant get out of bed
muscles definitely ache like siao
this morning wake up alr got muscle ache
then still had to go napfa.
zz
i think dance caused me to have alot of blueblack on my knee D:
hope they recover soon
LOL
zzzzzzzzzz
sian la.
i will have serious problems climbling or going down stairs tmr
I NEED SUPPORT ! DDDDD:

have
to
chiong
my
bao
zhang
du
hou
gan
now
))):

.

ohkayyyy.
so today.
ran 2.4
at first ran with lizhen
then she halfway say cannot take it liao
ask me go first
zzz
i was so shocked at my timing la
for chiongsters, it sucks
but for slackers (like me),
it rocks !
YAY !

lmao.
then after 2.4 i went straight to try out sit and reach
was like,
totally no strength
blah
so didnt even get past 40cm la
))):
i dont care .
tomoro im gonna stretch hell lot first
maybe at dance or something
AND THEN I'LL BE ABLE TO GET 41cm AND ABOVE !
simin gayshit de la, 51cm -_-

anyway.
after recess
had music
i was like,
super high
:DDDD
haha. i think yuching they all know why i so high le xD

then cid
watched video
z

then last period chi
did some stuff
sian

then after school.
i was thinking if i should stay back for chem remedial.
then i thought : yes.
so i did.

so when szenee, yuching, lizhen all went for chi remedial
i was pangsei-ed.
D:
amanda was the first to go home, cos she didnt want to attend the chem remedial.
-_-

so they left for chi remedial
i went to library outside
and started doing my chem worksheet.
zzzzzz
it was all nice and stuff until JIEKAI SHOWED UP AND KEPT DISTURBING ME
zzzzz
cos he was hanging around with yuhong
zzzz
he kept pestering and pestering
zzz
finally he came and sat opposite me
and made yuhong help him do his maths
-_-
so yuhong had to sit same table as me la
zz
jiekai kept talking and talking and talking
i gave up doing my chem worksheet.
z
tried to read richie's storybk, but also got stuck on many pages because of his chatter.
...

and then it was 4 oclock
so i left for sci remedial
we made mrlee so exasperated
xD
but actually,
come to think of it,
hes quite nice.
just sometimes abit odd.
lol

tired.
tmr still got cca, then napfa 5 stations, then cca.
OMGWTF.
D:

btw.
got back my phone last night.
lmao.
cause
maybe my mom so kind-hearted
maybe im too loved for having no phone for more than 3 days
maybe she just wants to be able to contact me after school -_____-
whatever.
point is,
my phone is back !
xD
eh, but im really trying to control my usage zz

.

lizhen !
dont pangsei me
D:
run 2.4 with me tmr larh.

ZZZZZ

.

ate macs for breakfast.
went out for lunch.
came back.

weekends sucks without my phone ):

.

went out for lunch.
it was raining heavily
with thunder and lightning
the lightning was beautiful
so strong
and so piercing

i want to get struck by lightning.

.

so apparently i was wrong.
all that crap about not really caring when my phone was confiscated?
bullshit.

i really thought i could handle it.
but i guess,
the reason why i didnt really feel so sad when it was locked up last night,
was actually cause i was in a state of denial.
i think.

it was only when i was preparing to sleep
closed and locked my bedroom door
switched off the lights
lay on the bed
and cried myself to sleep.

will be getting the stinking phone back in 10 days.

---

woke up this morning at about 8.30
basically kp-ed my dad the whole time.

waiting for amanda to come online.
then can start on the stupid sci project.

monday gotta run 2.4
my timing will be like shit, i think.
cause im still sick D:
that time i sick,
run 3 rounds only,
my throat like hot cold hot cold de.
piercing hot and freezing cold.
then after the 3 rounds throat super dry and pain.
2.4 is 6 rounds leh.
sure die de
):

whattheheck.
i wonder why i even bother to wake up in the morning.

♥♥

i know im such a fool for you
but i'm in so deep

.

bill baboom-ed.
which indirectly means,
no phone until i get it back.
lol.
haha

actually this time im not as angry at my parents anymore.
cause maybe ive been through not having a phone by my side,
been through pissing off my dad on purpose,
been through everything u can go through without a phone.

and ive lived through it.
so i know, this time i can survive.

anyway.
today.
lessons
boring.
after school
saw wang lao shi at school gate
dance coach
he smiled and waved to me
i was so shocked
i didnt even know he could recognise me
plus,
my hairstyle for dance and without dance is damn different
so i just bowed back to him
haha
came home
bought macdonalds ice cream
ate it
bathed
watched tv
dozed off
woke up
bathe
prepared for tuition
went tuition
listened to music and practically slept through tuition
came home
saw the stupid bill
didnt really feel anything much.

indifference.

suffered a whole lot of muscle aches today.
the leg and arm ones im used to it already,
just cant stand the back-of-the-neck and shoulder ones.
zzz

okay.
byebye.

.

first thing: my whole damned body is SO going to ache all over tmr.
zzzzzz

anyway
today
lessons as usual
was sabo-ed by practically the whole class during chinese.
only kangchyi was the kind-hearted one and defended me
although no one really listened,
but still.
thank you kang chyi :D

after school
had the australia exchange programme pre-selection test.
zzzzzz
then went to dance

dance, hiong sia.
stretched until like i was like, oh-so-fully-stretched.
and the-kicking-the-back-leg-thing-and-trying-to-grab-it-using-ur-hands-thing
my hands can touch my feet le !
only when im not jumping ):
whatever.
everywhere's gonna hurt when i wake up tmr.
especially my shoulder blades
zzzzzz

anyway.
so darn tired.
iwanttosleep D:

.

heys.
haha

today was a rather eventful day.
lmao.

first,
during history
simin's hp got confiscated cos she was caught smsing during class
=.-"
then me and shiyi was sent out to talk to mrs jasmine chua about the simin and the hp thing.
zzz

then recess.
recess was.. well.
i dont know how to describe.
lets just say it was much more interesting than usual.
<3

after recess
had lang arts
watched a damn interesting video xD

then
we had sci
zzz

but yay, sci was cut short
teehees.

than we had assembly
about this desmond person who is so good blah blah
lolx

then after that was IU day !
xD
walked around the classrooms
blah
gave my two votes to szenee
and she gave them to lizhen
so i dont really know which classes my votes went to.
lol

got some henna tattoo on my hand
from the external people
lol
some flower pattern thingy in the middle
and some design that goes all the way to the forth finger.
i wonder if they have designs for middle fingers.
xD

my design wasnt as elaborate and dark as szenee's.
thank god,
cause i have dance practice tmr.
haha

then went to gardenia !
lol
sat down
watched some video
learnt how they made the bread
looked around the factory
ate some bread
and left
LOL
so slack.

learnt alot of steps of the cubeeee today.
haha
thanks szenee and lizhen for teaching
:D

had a great day of fun, love and bread.

.

i am sacrificing a hell lot of my time on this australia thing.
im actually studying for a stupid pre-selection test.

if im not selected for this perth exchange programme trip,
i'll definitely go emo for a few months.

.

its not gonna work out, i guess.
it never did.

although i really want it to.

well, if it does
it'll be the first.

.

They press their lips against you.
And you love the lies they say.
And I tried so hard to reach you.
But you're falling anyway.

And you know I see right through you.
Cause the world gets in your way.
What's the point in all this screaming?
You're not listening anyway.

i dont wanna deny the obvious.
cause its so obvious.
i want him.
really,
i do.
<3

.

woke up 7 plus
zz
so freaking early
zzz

memorised chem stuff
watched Step Up 1 again
lmao
since i bought the dvd
ive been watching it for dont know how many times alr ;D

went out for lunch
came back
did finish my chaoxie

went out for piano
then went dinner
and now im home.

zzz
stupid sunday
i hate sundays
cause the nx 5 days will be shit days.

._.

.

just found out that richie is now a true and holy botak guy.

cant wait to see how he looks on monday.

and i'll ROLL ON FLOOR LAUGHING MY ASS OFF

man !
im such a bad person.
baddie baddie baddie
:x

.

hahas.
was supposed to go bowling with yuhong, chee, qinghe and amanda today.
but yuhong said he got flu (?)
and so he wasnt going to come
so we called off the whole bowling thing.

went to watch Step Up 2 instead.
again.
but this time it was with amanda, chee & qinghe.
lol

i went shopping this morning
then left for jurong east.
before that, i stopped at chua chu kang
bubbletea !
xDD
bought one for amanda too.
hahas

we agreed to meet at ljs at jec.
budden, no space.
so i waited for amanda and yewhui to come.
chee came from the library i think
he like, so hardworking sia.
go library.
he after the movie also went library.
maybe he go there see a chiobu librarian?
who knows.
xD

LOL
anyway
when they came
we stood around for awhile
then we decided
chee was supposed to look for seats in any of the fast food restaurants
while amanda and i went to buy the tickets.

when we were done,
we still saw chee walking around like some joker.
so obviously,
he couldnt find any seats.

so we stood around somemore
until some people left ljs
then we went to sit there
chee realised we were the only table without any food from ljs.
me and amanda had our bubbletea,
while chee had his sundae which he bought from macs.
it was like, so bad
go ljs never eat any of their food
like taking up seats

so chee went to buy the largest pack of fries
which was,
very small.
-_-

we waited for qinghe to come
after his tuition
which ended around 2.30
the movie was at 2.55

he taxi-chionged to jec
and then we sat around somemore
until finally we went up to the cinema.

bought popcorns and pepsi
went in
1 quarter of the popcorn kena spilled.
rofl !

so we watched the movie.
although i watched it before alr
it was still super uber nice.
and it has the super hot female lead that richie is so crazy about.
im definitely going to buy the dvd for Step Up 2 when it comes out.
and use it to spite richie !
LOL
i still prefer Step Up 1 the male lead.
Channing Tatum !
hes sooooo hot.
and in Step Up 2,
he was even better !
way much hotter !
omg
x.x

but during the movie
chee kept using the big tub of popcorn to block my eyes
so the whole thing covered my line of vision
-_-"

intheend
after the fantastic movie
we realised that half the big tub of popcorn was left
and since 1 quarter of it was spilled
means,
4 of us ate 1 quarter of the stupid popcorn
-_-
and the pepsi also !
so much left sia.
lmao.

then came home
and blahh
finished my weekend homework alr
zzz
cause there wasnt much.
lol.

and also,
i can sms now !
YAY .
LOL
x)

.

there was parent teacher meeting today.
i wasnt there
cause i had lame tuition.

my mom went and spoke to jasmine chua
and came back telling me what jasmine chua said to her.

which, indirectly, means talking about her.
that girl.
suddenly, im back in that stupid black hole,
getting pushed and pushed again.

further back.
all the way.

.

i broke down today during chemistry.
and spent the rest of the day picking up little pieces of me and putting them together.

i was practically crying during sci, i was so frustrated.
really crying.
and no one noticed !
i didnt know my crying skills were so damn good.
xD

.

what else can i say?
staying at home is really boring.

love you too.
loads :D

.

sick.
most probably wont turn up for school tomorrow.

i'll miss you.
<3


happy april's fool as well.