.

its mind-wrenching
its heart-breaking
its simply tormenting

can you just say yes or no?
so i'll have a clue.
but i know you cant answer me
cos i havent even asked.

but they always say
girls shouldnt speak the first word
if boys wanted, they would

i don't know, really

i don't know if you wanted but you didnt dare
or if you wanted but you didnt know when
or if you wanted but you didnt care

or if you simply didnt want to.

you have your life
i have mine

yeah im always trying to convince myself.

lie to yourself enough
& you'll start to believe things are actually getting better

but all the time i dont believe me.

sometimes i wish you hated me, i really do.
maybe then i wouldn't have to sit there everyday
being your friend knowing that i can't have you

i told you all, things are different now.
i just dont know how to friggin' explain it.

ugh.